Catching up

[Murfreesboro]

I hope she enjoys it. I guess she must want to go, since I didn't ask her. She volunteered.

It's sad that my kids know so little about my early home(s). Besides spending the first 20 yrs of my life in Jackson, we spent every summer in my mother's home town of Pine Bluff, Arkansas. And we'd always spend a week in Hot Springs. But I was born late in my parents' lives (mother 40, father 47), and I have no siblings. So now there's really no one left to host us, and no compelling reason to go, other than just to tell them, "Hey, this is where I came from."

It's kind of impressive that one of the girls from my high school class knew how to reach out to me. I've had no contact with her for decades. I guess I can thank the internet for that. It's sweet that she apparently really wanted me to come.

[Andybev01]

Since I'm back in oregon about once a year I drive passed the house that I was raised in just to exorcize any lingering demons.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

I hope she enjoys it. I guess she must want to go, since I didn't ask her. She volunteered.

to tell them, "Hey, this is where I came from."

I think that most kids want to know about where their parents/family come from, it's a natural part of being human.

It's kind of impressive that one of the girls from my high school class knew how to reach out to me. I've had no contact with her for decades. I guess I can thank the internet for that.

I've always wondered about that, I mean, how high schools can track down almost anybody for a reunion, especially since most women that get married usually change their last name, but somehow they know how to contact you. There must be a database somewhere that has a profile on every single person that has ever attended school, and they follow you throughout your life ... kinda creepy if you think about it. Then again, like you said, you can find almost anything about anybody on the internet these days ... well, I know that I can.

It's sweet that she apparently really wanted me to come.

Sometimes we don't realize how much of a impact we have on other people's lives simply by just being around them. We treat them as we would treat any other person, that is to say, politely and respectfully, and from your point of view that's just normal conduct between people, but there are certain people that really do appreciate what you do for them, and even if you don't know it, you mean the world to them.

I had that happen recently with a young employee at the restaurant, he was only here for a few months but we treated him like family, and the day he was leaving he thanked us for being so welcoming to him, and he was very emotional, trying not to cry in front of us. I could tell that he didn't want to leave, but he had to go back to his family, but we told him that he would always have a place here if he wanted to come back. I could tell how much that meant to him, and he gave us a hug. Like I said, sometimes we are more important to the people around us than we ever imagined.

I drive passed the house that I was raised in just to exorcize any lingering demons.

I've done the same exact thing before. The last time I drove by my childhood house was 10 years ago, I sat in my car across the street for about 10 minutes just staring at the house. I thought about going up to the door and knocking but I didn't. It is a beautiful 5 bedroom Victorian house, and I honestly thought that it would have been mine one day, but thanks to my pathetic father's inability to be something that even remotely resembles a man, and my mother's lack of courage, we got cheated out of the house that was our birthright, and every time I even think about it I get filled with anger and hatred.

Since then, I have thought about bringing my kids there now that they are old enough to understand, I have even thought about possibly buying the house back, I mean, I can definitely afford it now, but the truth is that there is so much pain and evil memories in that house that I honestly don't know if I would ever want to go back in there again.

Yeah, I've got issues, but you already know that.

[Murfreesboro]

Houses can be really emotional, can't they? I imagine I'll drive my daughter past the house my mother built in 1972. I know it's still there. It will be strange to look at it from the outside, and to be on that old street. My parents at one point owned three properties next door to each other, and when Mama decided to build the new house, she just moved us next door and tore down the old one (which also held lots of memories for me). So I spent the first 20 yrs of my life on one street, but in 3 different houses.

High school classes: since receiving this invitation, I've started Googling some of my old classmates. Sadly, I've discovered that two or three of them are no longer with us. It's given me pause. Always before, if I learned that someone from my youth had passed away, I felt that they had died untimely. But these folks died at 68 and 70. Not really untimely. And I thought to myself, "So, is this what we're doing now? We're dying?"

I also discovered that my half brother and half sister passed quite recently. He died in Oct at 86. She died in Jan at 90. No one told me, of course. It made me sad that we always knew about each other but never really had a relationship. Fault on both sides, I guess.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

When we were in California, my mother wanted to show us where her father's dance hall was, but when we got there it had been demolished and it was a vacant lot. I'm sure that they have built something there by now, but we haven't ever gone back. There are so many places from my own childhood that doesn't exist anymore, I always thought that they would still be around but they were replaced in the name of progress.

There's one mall near us that's still around, but that probably won't be for much longer. I went there last year and about 80% of the stores were vacant, and the stores that were open didn't have any traffic and that was on a Saturday. It has a small indoor amusement park, and when we were young it was the weekend destination for us kids, but now most of the rides are dilapidated and some of them don't even function anymore. I was there with Phoebe and I told her how awesome the place was when I was a kid, she looked around at the current state of the mall and then looked at me as if I was a caveman from the prehistoric days. Of course, if you tell anybody today hoow great things were they can't even grasp that concept because their only frame of reference is the world they live in now.

So I spent the first 20 yrs of my life on one street, but in 3 different houses.

That is very fascinating, it must give you a certain perspective that most other people don't have. If I recall correctly, you have been living in your current house for 30 years, right? I can't even imagine living in one place that long, we have been in our current house for 16 years, and that's the longest I've ever lived in one place.

My wife and I have discussed getting a bigger house eventually, but even if we do we wouldn't ever sell this house because one of the girls is probably going to want it because it's their childhood house.

"So, is this what we're doing now? We're dying?"

That is something that every generation will have to face eventually, it's inevitable. I'm definitely not looking forward to it, but as they say, every person that has ever lived, or ever will live, will die one day. C'est la Vie.

I also discovered that my half brother and half sister passed quite recently.

I'm sorry to hear that, I know that you weren't close to them, but they are still considered extended family because of their connection to your father. If you haven't already, maybe you should extend your condolences to their surviving family members, and perhaps even stay connected with them. I know that they are a few generations removed from your father's day, but they are still his descendants, and it would be nice to get to know them better.

Also, this would be a good opportunity for you to slowly tip-toe around the subject and bring up that picture of your father that you want ... I'm just saying.

[Murfreesboro]

Lol. Maybe I should try to reach out to them. Perhaps one of my half-sister's daughters could get me some copies of any photos she might have saved. It's a thought.

[Murfreesboro]

Re my lengthy residency in two different states, yes, I have had much stability in my life, and I prefer it that way. But there was a time when that was far from true. Shortly after I moved to Staunton, VA, I was getting mail forwarded to me from Killeen, TX; Conyers, GA; and Richmond, VA, all of which had been my home address within the previous year or two. I cannot say how much I loathed that constant moving around, always chasing jobs, his or mine. However, I can now look back on that tumultuous time and recognize that I had some very interesting experiences in all those places.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

That's the kind of stability that I would have killed for in my youth. While I have been in the same general area my whole life, I've lived at both ends of the city, and a few places in between. For the first few years after we left my father we moved around frequently as my mother struggled to put a roof over our heads. You wouldn't believe some of the sh*tholes we lived in back then, and it didn't get better until I started working at age 13. Of course, you're right though, looking back on it now, while it was a miserable existence living that way back then, it definitely led to some interesting experiences.

By the way, my sister sent me this link, you can lookup yourself or your classmates. The website delivers some interesting results.

https://www.schoolphotodatabase.com/

[Murfreesboro]

Ok, Smarty Pants, you got me!

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

I had the same reaction.

[HalloweenDot]

I hope that you both enjoy your trip.

When I was a kid we went to California and my mother showed us where she grew up with her family, we saw her old house and school, and she even brought us to the hospital that she was born in. I don't know if my younger siblings appreciated, or even remember the experience, but I still do.

Hopefully they do. My parent's house was torn down a few years ago and I am not going to drive by to see it.

[Andybev01]

Rewinding a little bit, to where Murf commented about houses being emotional...

'...electromagnetic forces and bioelectricity. The body uses electric charges to move ions across cell membranes, creating signals that power the brain, nervous system, and heartbeat. Furthermore, electromagnetic forces hold molecules together, maintaining the body's structure, while repelling electron shells allow us to feel solid' -Science News Explores 10/3/2024

...and the theory of Conservation of Energy states that:

"energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed" ( von Mayer, Prescott, et. al.)

Indicates the possibility that when we die our energy is disbursed to the environment in which we died, perhaps physically imprinting our personality (or soul, if you prefer), locally.

So when we return to these houses, what we are experiencing, aside from sentiment and memory, is the actual physical residue of the lives lived there , and that's what we have come to label as a haunting or ghosts.

And perhaps when people are lucky to be surrounded by family and friends when they pass, a part of them truly lives on in those loved ones?

[Murfreesboro]

That's interesting speculation. I prefer to believe that we actually do live on after death, not just imprinted on our surroundings, but actually intact as a soul with memories, etc. Nobody knows for sure, of course. But back when I was trying to make up my mind about religious and spiritual matters, I was disconcerted by the Eastern idea that the soul disappears into Nirvana like a drop of water into the ocean. To me that says that the molecules are still there, but the water droplet is lost forever. I was much more taken with the Biblical idea of personal identity. So many times throughout the Bible people are named or re-named. To me it just says that the God of the Bible is above all the God who knows your name. That's what I needed to hear.

I've never made up my mind about ghosts. I do think it's possible they exist, but I don't know how to fit them into my personal metaphysical scheme. I think that's above my pay grade.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

Since we have already discussed the possibility of a afterlife rather extensively, this post is going to be short. Well, shorter than most of my posts. Hey, that rhymes!

I'd like to think that there's a afterlife for the faithful. You know ... On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife.

Man, that really sounds bad out of context.

I guess that if Heaven or Hell is too full you have to go somewhere right? Maybe limbo or purgatory?

Maybe we get reincarnated, if that's true then I'm sure that I'll come back as a hamster.

So when we return to these houses, what we are experiencing, aside from sentiment and memory, is the actual physical residue of the lives lived there , and that's what we have come to label as a haunting or ghosts.

Actually, that makes sense. It's similar to kissing a girl, you're technically kissing everybody she's ever kissed before. It's probably the same way with houses, everybody that lived there before you, whether consciously or not, leaves a part of their essence there, if it's positive or negative energy depende on the people that lived there.

And perhaps when people are lucky to be surrounded by family and friends when they pass, a part of them truly lives on in those loved ones?

Now this theory really makes sense, and it's something that is entirely within the realm of possibility.

I wasn't there when my grandfather died, but I've told you guys before that I can feel his presence sometimes, maybe when he died his consciousness spread out and connected with his family regardless of where they were.

Einstein believed the same thing, that our energy or consciousness just gets relayed somewhere else, but we don't just cease to exist.

On the other side of that, we could just be a damn joke and there's nothing but a cold empty darkness when we die.

Regardless of what happens, everybody will be dead one day, so we will find out eventually. The only thing we know for sure is that the worms will eat us. Well, that depends on your personal preferences, or if your physical body even survives your death ... shark bait anybody?

[Andybev01]

"I've never made up my mind about ghosts. I do think it's possible they exist, but I don't know how to fit them into my personal metaphysical scheme. I think that's above my pay grade. "

I suppose that on that note.I will wish you a happy good friday and easter weekend!